Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me...

Did anyone else sing that in their head in Donkey's voice? (Shrek)

Okay seriously, though. I dropped N. off at the airport yesterday and so far I'm doing well with it. I had a major freak out the night before; cried, screamed, railed, threw things, said things I didn't mean. Yay BPD. Thirty minutes later I was fine, guess I just had to get it out of my system. He made it to San Diego in one piece, but reports there was some turbulence during the landing that shook him up a bit. They have him in the barracks for now and he's the highest ranked person there, even over the staff, LOL.

On the way home R., who had slept through the whole thing, woke up and asked "Where Dada?" I said (and signed) "Dada on an airplane". He said "Dada airpane" (not a typo, he said airpane) and I said  "Yes, honey". So what does he do? Looks out the window, wave at the sky and yells "Bye-bye!". I laughed because I didn't want to cry, it was so friggin' cute!!

Today I got up and joined a gym. I dropped probably way too much money but I got 2 one on one sessions per week with a personal trainer who's gonna kick my butt into shape. I am tired of not being happy with me and I want N. to not recognize me when he comes home in June. =D

I have to say that at the gym today I was really comforted by my head cover. I didn't feel like everyone was staring at me (for good or bad reasons) and I felt really confident in myself as a woman. I know that probably sounds really silly but with N. gone it's kind of my security blanket... but on my head. I feel my Goddesses with me and I know I'm not doing this alone. I was also really encouraged today to have two different women ask me where I had got my head cover. It made me *squee* inside, especially since it's just a khaki green, cotton, $3 Walmart special. I had it done up in a bun style tichel with a wrap around head band to keep it in place.

On a geekier note, A. totally chose to watch Dr.Horrible's Sing-Along Blog over any other show on netflix. She is soooo my daughter. =D

1 comment:

Cora said...

Hang in there, mama.

Good for you for joing the gym! It'll help keep you busy while your man is gone.

And *squee* for the ladies asking about your headcovering!